Did you think your tough enough? Can you handle it? Moms do it everyday. Celebrate your mom abilities and tough-ness by taking a night off at the San Diego Mom’s Night Out 1 Year Anniversary Party! The San Diego Mom’s Night Out Anniversary party is simply a mom’s night out… all mom’s could use one! Paper yourself with mini spa services, momtinis, champagne, wine, food and desserts, fun entertainment and more! The Anniversary party provides you with the opportunity to relax, mix and mingle with other M.O.M.S. just like YOU!
- Company:
M.O.M.S– Maternal Office of Messiness & Solutions
- Job Category:
Household Engineer
- Status:
Full Time Employee– possible bathroom breaks (may or may not be with a toddler at foot) and family vacation time with tenure and seniority.
- Experience: Past experience helpful, but not required. You may seek out help from parenting manuals, but don’t assume it will help in any way.
- Wages and Compensation: Hold on to your seats ladies– you pay them! You offer frequent raises and bonuses for good behavior and helpfulness through a once-a-week “allowance.” A large payment is due when they turn 18– you think that college will help them become well rounded, educated people. When you die, you give them everything you have.
- Benefits: No health or dental insurance, no pension, no paid holidays and no stock options offered. Free hugs and kisses available.
Household Engineer
For centuries, women of all ages, sexual orientation, religions, and backgrounds have joined the ranks of M.O.M.S.. Once conception is acquired, expect a minimum of 18 years to the rest of your life as a M.O.M.S. member.
You must be willing to go without. This includes sleep (at least until 5 years old– then again in the teenage years), showering, using the restroom, pedicures, manicures (you should see my feet!), eating while sitting down, eating a balanced meal (bites of chicken nuggets and hot dogs become the M.O.M.S. staple).
Don’t bother purchasing a new career wardrobe– vomit, poop and sour milk will occur.
Must acquire lightning speed reflexes and be able to run out the back door if screams occur. Must also be able to differentiate between “crying wolf” and real pain.
Challenges will occur including, but not limited to:
* Cutting of hair– not usually yours, but if sleep occurs it could be– take precautions.
* Backed-up toilets due to randomly flushed Barbie dolls
* Splinters
* Sharpie Marker on the walls of the dining room
* One piece bathing suits stuck on the family German Shepard dog.
* Kool Aid dyed carpeting, bedding, and misc clothing.
* Poo facials- no explanation necessary.
* Poo facials- no explanation necessary.
Once the teenage years occur, crank calls and random pizza deliveries will become the norm.
Must be willing to break open thousands of cheap, plastic, breakable toys from foreign lands. If your hands cannot get the toy out of the massive amount of plastic, scissors and/or chain saw may be required. The toy may need to be assembled and do not assume there will be directions. Brush up on your Mandarin Chinese for easier assembly and to keep your sanity.
Pinterest
05/20/2013
05/17/2013
05/16/2013
05/14/2013
04/26/2013
05/06/2013
This is ah-mazing! I love it. I can tell there was a lot of love and experience put into this post. Good to know I’m not alone on several of the descriptions you listed! Is it bad that I actually tried to push the button? Lol! I thought it would take me to another post, haha! Best post I’ve seen in a long time. Thank you!
HA! Love it!!